The Thanksgiving Ghost

A group of friends, Mary, Molly, Joe and Josh, once decided to have Thanksgiving in a haunted house. They tied a roasted turkey to the roof of their car and piled in. Down a long gravel road they drove. It appeared that the trees around them caused the wind to whistle. But actually it was the local ghost. He was a bit out of shape, and was trying to keep up with their car.

Finally, they got to the house. "Sweet!", said Joe. It was perfect. The siding was water-stained and warped, and it looked like someone had tried to re-adjust the roof, but put it back on sideways. They went inside carrying all their food, and the ghost followed them in. He was a very well-mannered ghost, so he closed the door after them. It shut a little too quickly and made a loud bang. The friends jumped. Molly jumped highest, then giggled, nervously.

The people started wandering around, hoping to find the kitchen table. The ghost was too polite, though. He first wiped his feet on the ghost entry mat. This caused the floors to creek. Then he floated up to his bedroom to shower and change: he was pretty sweaty from trying to keep up with the car. His ghost shower was leaky, and the ghost water dripped and condensed into people-water in a bucket in the corner of the dining room. Molly, Joe and Josh were busy setting the table. Mary was looking for matches for their candles when she saw the water-level in the bucket rising. "Wooow!" she yelled, "Look at this, you guys!" Everyone came over just as the ghost finished with his shower and the water stopped rising. "It's just a bucket of water," Josh said. "Hurry up and find some matches, I'm hungry!"

When the ghost finally floated down in his finest evening attire, the friends were just about to sit down for dinner. They had set up four giant candle sticks in the middle of the table. Candle fire to a ghost is like a warm, comfy couch. He settled in a flame (a bit too quickly, causing it to sputter) and looked down at the meal.

The ghost missed Thanksgivings. He hadn't had one in a very, very long time. But he knew that he couldn't eat the food on the table. He could make the floors squeak and the shower overflow, but if he tried to eat food, he'd just pass right through it. He hadn't tasted food in years, and the turkey looked so succulent . . .

But then the people started eating. The ghost didn't know that when people eat food, they kill it. So the real food became ghost food!

Slices of ghostly turkey topped with cranberry sauce started floating up above the table. The ghost flitted around like an astronaut, catching them in his mouth. This caused a fair amount of ghostly breeze to ruffle the people's hair. Mary and Joe were excited. Molly and Josh ate faster.

The ghostly stuffing formed an every-expanding blob over one of the candles. It was getting nicely roasted on all sides. Just before it got burnt, the ghost ate it all up. He pushed aside the ghostly green beans, and went straight for the mashed potatoes. He ate and he ate.

For desert, Josh brought a giant, quivering cheesecake. It was about a foot tall, and looked like it would topple over any minute. It was a miracle it made it in the car ride over the bumpy gravel road. The people dug in, but could only finish a little bit. The ghost ate everything they sent his way.

At the end of the meal, the ghost had eaten enough for four grown people. He had become a very fat ghost. He crawled into one of the candle flames, and sprawled out in a sort of food coma.

Since Molly and Josh were full, they weren't so nervous any more. The others convinced them to go look around the house for a giant bed they could lie on while they digested their food and told ghost stories. As they made their way upstairs, the stairs didn't creak because the ghost was asleep in the candle. And as they told their ghost stories, the wind didn't blow through the trees.

Unfortunately, the ghost had become so fat that he soon extinguished the candle. He sighed, and decided that falling asleep on the couch was improper. He'd fly up and go to bed. But try as he might to push himself upward, he couldn't. A bit disturbed, he slipped down the candle. He would have to walk  up the stairs. He hadn't had to walk in several generations. When he got to his bedroom, he saw that his bed had been taken over. But Joe was telling a ghost story, so he crawled under the bed to listen.

Pretty soon, the ghost was fast asleep. To a ghost, a ghost story is like a bedtime story. As he slept, his belly pushed the bed up-and-down, up-and-down. This was quite honestly the last straw. Molly and Josh led the charge down the stairs. They packed their food up quickly, tied the empty roasting pan to the top of the car, and drove off through the trees.

Things weren't over yet for the ghost, though. When he woke up the next morning, his back was sore. When you can float, your back is never sore. He rolled up through the bed, but got stuck. He still couldn't float! So he got dressed, and waddled and sloshed down the stairs.

Later that day, the mail arrived. He was excited to see that he had a letter. He was a very old ghost, and no-one ever wrote to him anymore. He was less excited when he read the letter. It was from the ghost regulatory service. They were informing him that in light of his recent inability to float, his ghost license was being revoked. He was to report to headquarters immediately to fill in the associated paperwork.

So off he went. When he got to headquarters, the line was out the door. It was miles and miles long. He got in line, and waited. As he waited he did calf raises. Then he started doing push-ups. After a couple of days in line, he began to do handstand push-ups. He started to get into shape. Finally, almost a week later, he could start doing ghostly bounces. Ghostly bounces are a sort of exercise young ghosts do when they're learning how to fly for the first time.

Two weeks later, he was finally at the door of headquarters. He could fly again! But the ghost bureaucracy was very strict. If they called you in, they expected you to show up. He became very nervous. What if they still revoked his ghost license? He waited and waited. But then, just as he was about to step through the doorway, a special messenger came and gave him a letter. His license was no longer being revoked!

The ghost did a somersault of joy! Then he floated home. The giant candle that he had put out was still there. He decided it would make a great addition to the decor. He lit it, and snuggled in.

The End.